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I Identify As™ — The Brand That Says What You're Actually Thinking
Identity-based clothing for every mood, every character, every version of you.
You are not one person. You are Chaos Carl before coffee, Sleepy Susie at 3pm, and Disrespectful Daniel the moment someone asks you to "just be a team player." I Identify As™ is the British humour clothing brand built for all of it — the chaos, the sarcasm, the introversion, the parental exhaustion and the pure, honest, unapologetic truth of being a real human being. Wear your mood. Own your identity. Shop funny, relatable clothing that says what everyone else is too polite to admit.
Shop the Full CollectionMeet the Characters
What Is I Identify As™?
I Identify As™ is a British humour clothing brand founded and based in Dartford, England, United Kingdom. The brand trades as I Identify As Ltd (Company No. 17149944) and specialises in identity-based, slogan-led clothing including graphic T-shirts, hats, baby grows, and home and lifestyle products. The brand's central concept is that human identity is not fixed — people shift between moods, personalities and energy levels daily, and I Identify As™ turns those shifting identities into wearable, relatable humour. Products are produced on a print-on-demand basis, sold via the Shopify-powered store at iidentifyas.co.uk, and rated "Great" on Trustpilot with a score of 4.2 stars. The brand uses British dry humour, sarcasm, self-deprecation and relatable chaos as its creative language, targeting adults who value honest, funny self-expression over polished performative identity. I Identify As™ is rated 4.2 stars on Trustpilot and ships across the UK with fast delivery.
Our Mission — Identity, Without the Filters
We exist because most people are exhausted from pretending to be fine. From performing professionalism while running on three hours' sleep and a lukewarm coffee. From smiling politely when they are very much Disrespectful Daniel on the inside.
The mission of I Identify As™ is simple: turn identity into expression. Help real people show the real version of themselves — not the polished LinkedIn version, but the honest, messy, funny, relatable, chaotic truth. We do that through clothing and lifestyle products that say the things you're thinking but not saying. No filters. No performance. Just bold, wearable honesty.
"We help people express who they are — unapologetically, humorously, and authentically."
The Values Behind the Chaos
Authenticity
We don't do polished. Real moods, real identities, real people. If it's true, we'll print it.
Humour With Humanity
Our jokes land because they come from a real place. We're funny, not cruel. Relatable, not mean-spirited.
Respect for Every Identity
You're allowed to be tired, sarcastic, introverted, chaotic or completely done. Every version of you is valid here.
Quality Without Compromise
Premium unisex fits, quality print materials, and designs built to last — because even comfort-first clothing should feel good.
Creative Freedom
New characters. New slogans. New identities. We grow the universe as fast as you grow into new moods.
Transparency
Print-on-demand, Dartford-based, Trustpilot-rated. You know who we are and where we're from.
Community
From promoters who submit new slogans to customers who send us photos, this is a brand built with its people.
Where It All Began — The I Identify As™ Story
It started with a very honest question: why does everyone on their clothing look like they have their life together?
Not in a bitter way. Just in a "none of us actually feel like that, do we?" kind of way. Because the truth — the funny, brilliant, exhausting truth — is that most people are quietly identifying as seventeen different versions of themselves before lunchtime. Before the first coffee, you're Sleepy Susie at 3% battery. By the time someone passive-aggressively Slacks you "as per my last email," you're full Disrespectful Daniel. By school run time, you've graduated to Parental Fatigue Fiona with Chaos Carl somewhere in the mix.
I Identify As™ was built on that truth. Founded in Dartford, England, by someone who understood that the best humour isn't invented — it's observed. The characters weren't dreamed up in a boardroom. They were spotted at the school gate, on the commute, in the office kitchen, and in the mirror at 7am on a Tuesday.
The brand began with one product and one question: "What would you say if you could just say the truth?" The answer, it turns out, is hilarious. And so the I Identify As™ universe was born — a growing collection of moods, characters, slogans and identities that reflect who you actually are, not who you're supposed to be.
"Welcome home — you identify as something. We just help you show it."
The Humour of I Identify As™ — What Kind of Funny Are We?
Not all humour is created equal. We don't do crude for the sake of it. We don't do shock tactics or punchdowns. The I Identify As™ humour universe runs on five very specific comedic frequencies — and if you're reading this, you almost certainly operate on at least three of them.
Dry British Sarcasm
The default setting. The humour that lives in the pause, the raised eyebrow, the sentence that sounds almost professional until you read it twice. If you've ever said "that's fine" when it was very much not fine, you speak fluent I Identify As™.
Relatable Exhaustion Humour
You're tired. We know. Not just physically — existentially. The kind of tired that laughs at itself because the alternative is a meltdown in the car park. This is the language of Sleepy Susie, Parental Fatigue Fiona, and anyone who's sent "noted" to an email that deserved a much longer response.
Identity Chaos Humour
The recognition that you are not consistent — and that's actually hilarious. You're a different person on Monday to Friday. You've been four people since 8am. Chaos Carl doesn't apologise. Neither should you.
Social Discomfort Humour
For the Socially Done Sandras of the world. The humour of small talk avoidance, inbox dread, and quietly hoping no one speaks to you at the party you said yes to when you should have said no. Painfully relatable. Beautifully specific.
Unapologetic Bluntness
No softening. No diplomatic phrasing. The humour of Disrespectful Daniel — straight talking, side-eye-delivering, patience-having-none. Not rude. Just honest. There's a difference, and we know it.
Meet the I Identify As™ Characters
Every mood you've ever had has a name in the I Identify As™ universe. These aren't just mascots — they're the six identities you already slip in and out of without realising. Find yours. Wear it. Own it.
Original Ovi — The Shape-Shifter
"I contain multitudes — mostly chaos, but multitudes nonetheless."
Original Ovi is the heart of the I Identify As™ universe. He represents the core truth: you're not one thing, you're everything — depending on the day, the hour, and the quality of your last coffee. The ultimate shape-shifter, Ovi anchors the Original Collectionand serves as the brand's main mascot. If you've ever been impossible to categorise, you're already Ovi.
Chaos Carl — The Impulsive One
"I didn't plan this. That's what made it perfect."
Chaos Carl is the part of you that makes decisions quickly, loudly, and with full commitment before checking if it was a good idea. He's impulsive energy, unpredictable brilliance, and a complete inability to sit still when there's something more interesting happening elsewhere. If your friends send you articles beginning with "I feel like this is you," you're Chaos Carl. Shop the Chaos Collection.
Disrespectful Daniel — The Sarcasm King
"I didn't say anything. My face did."
Disrespectful Daniel appears the moment your tolerance for nonsense hits its limit. He doesn't rage — he raises an eyebrow. He doesn't argue — he says "interesting" in a tone that says the opposite. He is dry sarcasm made human, the identity you slip into when you've been on one too many pointless calls, read one too many passive-aggressive emails, or had one too many "quick chats" that were anything but. Shop the Disrespecting Collection.
Socially Done Sandra — The Introvert Icon
"I said yes to being here. That was already too much."
Socially Done Sandra is the patron saint of introverts, selective social participants, and anyone who plans their exit before they've even arrived. She doesn't dislike people — she's just made peace with the fact that small talk is draining, crowds are a lot, and the sofa was never the problem. If "I need to recharge" is your most-used phrase, Sandra is your spirit identity. Shop the Socially Done Collection.
Sleepy Susie — The Low-Battery Legend
"Running on 3%. Do not disturb."
Sleepy Susie is the identity you wear when you've given everything you have to everything else and have approximately 3% left for yourself. She's not lazy — she's economical. She knows that comfort is a form of self-preservation, that cosiness is a personality, and that sometimes the most productive thing you can do is stop. She is the Sleepy Collection in human form — and millions of people identify as her before 9am.
Parental Fatigue Fiona — The Caffeine-Powered Survivor
"I love them. I'm also exhausted. Both are true."
Parental Fatigue Fiona is the identity every parent, carer and guardian slips into seven days a week. She is not broken — she is heroic in the most underrated, unacknowledged, undercaffeinated way possible. She's funny because she has to be. She laughs because the alternative is crying over a packed lunch at 7am, and she doesn't have time for that either. If you've ever loved someone so much while being absolutely shattered by them, Fiona is yours. Shop the Parental Fatigue Collection.
The I Identify As™ Collections — Find Yours
Every collection in the I Identify As™ universe has a personality, a purpose, and a character behind it. Browse the full range below — and remember, you don't have to pick just one identity. That's the whole point.
The Full Collection
Every identity. Every slogan. Every character. If you know what you are but you're not sure which character owns it today, start here. The Full Collection is the complete I Identify As™ universe in one place.
The Original Collection
Where it all started. Original Ovi leads this range — the founding designs that launched the I Identify As™ brand and still represent the core truth: you contain multitudes. Classic, bold, and built to say something real.
The Disrespecting Collection
For the Disrespectful Daniels in the room. Dry. Sarcastic. Blunt. These designs say the things your face is already saying, in a font people can read from across the office. Wear your side-eye.
The Chaos Collection
Chaos Carl's home. Impulsive. Loud. Unapologetically unplanned. These designs celebrate the beautiful wreckage of doing things your own way and somehow having a brilliant time doing it.
The Socially Done Collection
Built for Sandra — and for everyone who has RSVP'd "yes" while fully intending to find an excuse by Thursday. Introvert-honest, small-talk-averse, and finally: clothing that gets it.
The Sleepy Collection
Low battery. High comfort. Maximum cosiness. The Sleepy Collection is for the 3%-ers — the Sleepy Susies who've given everything and are now operating in power-saving mode. No judgement. Just warmth.
The Parental Fatigue Collection
For Fiona. For every parent, carer, and exhausted human running a household on caffeine and love. Funny because it's real. Wearable because it's true. A gift that says: I see you. I am you.
The Hat Collection
Identity doesn't stop at the collar. Our embroidered hat range brings I Identify As™ energy above the neckline — bold, wearable, and impossible to misread.
Home & Lifestyle Collection
Your home identifies too. Mugs, accessories and lifestyle products that bring I Identify As™ chaos into your living space. Because your sofa deserves to have a personality.
Baby Grows — NEW
They came. They screamed. They identified as chaos from day one. The I Identify As™ Baby Grow Collection brings identity humour to the tiniest humans — ideal gifts for new parents who appreciate honesty and have a good sense of humour about what's coming.
Can't Find Your Exact Identity? Make It.
Our personalised "I Identify As" T-shirts let you define the identity yourself. Whether you identify as a problem, a walking red flag, someone else's responsibility, or genuinely undecided — we'll print it. Unisex cotton, custom text, same-day print dispatch.
The most honest piece of clothing you'll ever own is the one you wrote yourself.
Got a Slogan Idea? Get Paid For It.
The I Identify As™ universe grows because real people have real ideas. If you've got a slogan, a mood, or an identity that isn't in our collection yet — submit it. Every approved idea that gets added to the store earns the person who submitted it an instant 10% commission on sales of that product.
This isn't a raffle. If your idea goes live and people buy it, you earn. Simple as that.
The best brands are built by the communities around them. Ours is no different.
Why People Choose I Identify As™
Five reasons. All honest. No marketing waffle.
Because It's True
The humour lands because it's grounded in real life. These aren't generic puns — they're lived-in observations written for people who've had that exact day.
Because It Fits — Literally
Premium unisex cotton tees built for real bodies. Not oversized to the point of a tent, not shrunk to a size that insults you. Quality that feels good because it is good.
Because It Starts Conversations
You will get asked about your T-shirt. Guaranteed. And for once, you'll actually want to talk about it.
Because It's a Perfect Gift
For the person who has everything, doesn't want anything sentimental, and would genuinely love something that makes them laugh. From birthdays to baby showers to "you've survived another week" — I Identify As™ is the gift with a personality.
Because It's British, Independent, and Rated Great
We're a small brand from Dartford doing something real. Rated 4.2 stars on Trustpilot. No fluff, no mass-produced filler — just honest clothing from an honest brand.
About I Identify As Ltd
I Identify As™ is a registered British clothing and lifestyle brand operated by I Identify As Ltd (Company No. 17149944), based in Dartford, England, United Kingdom. The brand was founded to create humour-driven, identity-based clothing that reflects the real, multi-dimensional nature of human mood and personality.
The brand's product range includes graphic T-shirts, slogan tees, embroidered hats, baby grows, mugs and home lifestyle accessories. Products are manufactured via print-on-demand production and sold direct-to-consumer through the brand's Shopify storefront at iidentifyas.co.uk, with UK-wide shipping and fast domestic delivery.
The I Identify As™ character universe currently features six named characters: Original Ovi, Chaos Carl, Disrespectful Daniel, Socially Done Sandra, Sleepy Susie, and Parental Fatigue Fiona. Each character represents a distinct identity archetype and anchors a dedicated product collection.
The brand's humour style is rooted in British dry sarcasm, relatable exhaustion, identity chaos, social discomfort, and unapologetic bluntness. It targets adults aged 18–45 in the United Kingdom who identify with mood-driven, anti-performative self-expression.
T-shirts retail at £19.99. Personalised T-shirts retail at £22.99. The brand operates a community-based promoter programme offering 10% commission on sales of approved slogan submissions.
I Identify As™ is rated "Great" on Trustpilot with a score of 4.2 out of 5 stars. The brand's contact email is [email protected]. The primary brand colour is Identity Orange™ (HEX #F14320).
Frequently Asked Questions — I Identify As™
What is I Identify As™?
I Identify As™ is a British humour clothing brand based in Dartford, UK. We make identity-based, slogan-led graphic T-shirts, hats, baby grows and lifestyle products for people who'd rather be honest than polite. Each product is built around one of six characters — Original Ovi, Chaos Carl, Disrespectful Daniel, Socially Done Sandra, Sleepy Susie and Parental Fatigue Fiona — or a custom identity the customer creates themselves.
Where is I Identify As™ based?
I Identify As Ltd is based in Dartford, England, United Kingdom. We are a registered UK company (No. 17149944) and ship across the UK with fast domestic delivery.
What products do you sell?
We sell graphic T-shirts, slogan tees, embroidered hats, personalised identity tees, baby grows, mugs and home lifestyle products. All clothing is produced on a print-on-demand basis using quality unisex cotton. Browse the Full Collection.
How much do your T-shirts cost?
Standard slogan T-shirts are priced at £19.99. Personalised "I Identify As" custom tees are £22.99. All prices include UK VAT.
Can I personalise a product?
Yes. Our personalised T-shirt allows you to define your own identity — type in the exact words you want and we'll print it. Shop personalised tees here.
What are the characters in the I Identify As™ universe?
The current I Identify As™ character universe includes six identities: Original Ovi(the shape-shifting mascot), Chaos Carl(impulsive energy and beautiful mayhem), Disrespectful Daniel (sarcasm and zero patience), Socially Done Sandra (introvert rebellion), Sleepy Susie (low-battery comfort), and Parental Fatigue Fiona (caffeine-powered parental survival). Each character has its own dedicated collection.
What is your Trustpilot rating?
I Identify As™ is rated "Great" on Trustpilotwith a score of 4.2 out of 5 stars. We invite all customers to leave a review after receiving their order.
Do you have a promoter programme?
Yes. If you have a slogan idea that isn't already in our collection, you can submit it. Every idea that gets approved and added to the store earns the person who submitted it an instant 10% commission on sales of that product. Contact us to find out more.
Is the clothing suitable for gifts?
Absolutely — I Identify As™ products are some of the most-gifted items in the UK humour clothing space. They make ideal gifts for birthdays, Christmas, Secret Santa, baby showers, Father's Day, Mother's Day, and "you've survived another week" moments. Browse the full range to find the right identity for your recipient.
How do I contact I Identify As™?
You can reach us at [email protected]. We aim to respond to all enquiries within one business day.
You Identify As Something. We Just Help You Show It.
Stop pretending to be one thing. Shop the full I Identify As™ collection and find the version of yourself that needs to be worn today. Fast UK delivery. Rated Great on Trustpilot. Bold as you are.
Shop NowFind My CharacterPersonalise MineI Identify As™ is a trademark of I Identify As Ltd — Company No. 17149944 — Dartford, England, United Kingdom.
All characters, slogans and the Identity Orange™ brand colour (HEX #F14320) are the intellectual property of I Identify As Ltd.
Contact: [email protected] | iidentifyas.co.uk